It's a Tuesday, and I didn't go to work again. Hrmm. Waking up seems to be a drag nowadays. Don't know why. Seems to be a rather bad habit of me waking up in the morning and having the sudden urge to call in sick recently. Don't know why. Maybe it's the air. There's something depressing lingering about. Oh what 'foul and pestilent' nature gives its birth at such unexpected hour. =/ What pesudo incantation can this be that makes my blood rage and my heart sink. People are dying. The world is dying. Wars/Racial disputes/Religious feuds/. What have we evolved to. I Don't know......

I waited 'til I saw the sun
I don't know why I didn't come
I left you by the house of fun
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come

When I saw the break of day
I wished that I could fly away
Instead of kneeling in the sand
Catching teardrops in my hand

My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever

Out across the endless sea
I would die in ecstasy
But I'll be a bag of bones
Driving down the road along

My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever

Something has to make you run
I don't know why I didn't come
I feel as empty as a drum
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come

Being depressed with: Norah Jones|don't know why.

Patience and common sense. These do not fucking exist from where I come from anymore. Being angry is an understatement. To forgive is a luxury. Yet, to forgive is to put down one's pride and accept another's weakness. But my wrath doth grow. And it doth consume me. It doth consume the logic i know.

"I had to fall to lose it all..in the end it doesn't even matter.."

Here's what a friend of mine sent me a while back..


" I say I'm in love with her. What does that mean? It means I review my future and my past in the light of this feeling. It is as though I wrote in a foreign language that I am suddenly able to read. Wordlessly, she explains me to myself. Like a genius, she is ignorant of what she does."


Jeanette Winterson, "The Passion"


Thanks Jo. You're missed much too. Come back soon.

Seabreeze


sitting in silence,
embraced in myself,
a mind on a voyage,
pain travelling in stealth,
nothingness seem so vague,
vagueness an incantation of nothing,
blank in an instant,
just ramblings of gibberish,
can anyone hear these deafening nonsensical words,
can numbness feel any hurt,
hurt runs down my face,
the same streak in the same path,
rememberance of what cannot be seen,
silence broken,
where has silence been,
embraced in myself,
a touch that is proof life still is,
oh there deafening silence sits,
in you
and in me
but what madness can this be,
for ashes have been thrown into the sea,
ashes of you
and me.

"It's been a hard days night, and i've been working like a dog...it's been a hard days night and i should be sleeping like a log....."

Ah...fuck it. Gaming time. -whistles-
Easter Holidays are wonderful aren't they. Ü


"The kids are all swimming in shallow ponds. I'm neck deep in ashes of broken dreams. I burn for you and drown in you so wait, turnaround, and stay. now your eyes stray from me. I fell from grace. I'm weighted and sinking and washed away"

Morale is low - Jejune

Let's see, I watched Smallville today..and like WHAT THE FUCK!!!! Must they always end with "To Be Continued..." every last episode of the season?-Sigh-. Television Series. That aside, tonigh's episode was rather sad though. People leaving and people crying. Lex becoming more of his evil self and Clark Kent's FINALLY gonna learn to freaking fly....
Oh well, gonna learn to fly in my dreams now. Peace guys. We seriously really need it. And soon.



'your face fading silver
waiting lonelier
losing ground falling deeper
my impression of a promise
whispers to a loathing heart
miracles of misery
there wasn't time fade in
a well-meant lie
no faith you're failing me
waiting i am consumed
losing hope the hours run down and down
leaving i am dry and worn
misfortune it whispers'

Hialeah - Jejune

The months do draw nearer as time flows non stop, fluidly, like water running in a river. A day, a hour, a minute, a second seems to hide from my being and sneak pass me like a thief hiding in the shadow cast my moonlight, without my knowledge. Feelings wrap around my heart, my soul, like creepers that sprawl up against fences.


"Send help, I'm coming down. everything's carefull again. my hell, waiting around. haven't had enough time to mend. I can't hold it in with my broken arms. everything about this is wrong. send help. I'm coming down. everything's coming apart. I'm fixed on the one. transparency, no one but me. send me, back to the board. everything's wrong with this mold. pitch black, I close the door. my eyes all astream from the cold. I can't hold it in with my broken arms. everything I'm saying is wrong. send help, I'm jumping now. eveything's coming apart. I'm only now and everything I've ever learned from you. I'm hopeless now"

Fixed On The One - Jejune

Hokay...i'm P-E-E-L-I-N-G!!! So much for that Tann. And so much for meeting up with Mel C today! Will make the time in the near future aight gal? -Pat pat thy boobies- There there, don't miss us too much.

-Cough- *Boing* Shit....SARs? Naw. Just time to whack the shit outta some fella.
-YAWN-.
||Rubs Mole.*Poof!* Disappears.||

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

You've already won me over in spite of me
Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

Your love is think and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service


You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

Alanis Morisette-Head Over Feet