I dreamt of her last night.
After that i just couldn't go back to sleep.
It was so real.
The way she held my hand and the way she put her head on my lap when she was tired,
And the way I placed my arms around her waist to comfort her.

I woke up crying.

It's been over a week now, and I'm still trying to psyc myself into believing that everything is over.
No phone call from her.
No ICQ messages (cause i'm probably on her invisible list on icq even though she says she can't remember putting me on it)
No MSN messages (reasons same as above)
No emails cause she says there are no interesting ones lately.

I really don't know. She's probably having a great time without me in her life anymore. Her new friends her new life, her new found freedom, maybe, just MAYBE a new found love? But it's all speculation and anyway, I'm suppose to be happy that she's happy right? No matter what right?

Right?



4 more fucking days.

It's funny how when there are so many things on your mind you just can't sleep.
I slept at 2am last night and woke up at 5am.
It's uncanny how I never was able to do this during normal school days.
I guess it's just how we're wired up emotionally, mentally and physically.

I woke up missing her. You know, the times when you wake up next to someone you really love and just feel so comfortable. Yea, that kinda feeling. That nuanced feeling.


Oh well, I guess that's all passe now.


6 more days.