Out and Running....

Australia's a really famous country for all kinds of shit..more specifically, Brisbane's a really famous state for most kinds of shit, most famous, for it's fucked up weather.

I was at the coast on Saturday and I reckoned I'd get a nice brown crisp tann to put some sexiness into old fat pasty me. Brisbane being Brisbane however, pissed on my plans.

You see, I was already at the beach, getting my stuff out (beach mat, tanning lotion, booze etc) when suddenly, it started raining. I mean, for petessake, the sun was still shining when it suddenly rained. And mind you, it didn't just -rain- it freaking poured like some cow suddenly realised it could pee and decided to have a go at it for the next 2 hours.

You could imagine how pissed -I- was.

Heh. On another note, at least the bus divers here are nice to people. They're polite, patient and understading even though sometimes they can't understand what the fuck some asian students (mainly those from China) are trying to say when they board the bus..

Asian Student, " Yarlow, van teeket to kinsland unibersity prease."

Bus driver, "What? Could you repeat that please."

Asian Student, "Van stoodent teeket to kinsland unibersity. kkkinsssland....uniberrrssiiity. You know?"

Bus driver, "-dumbfounded look- Sorry? What was that? -thinks awhile- Oh, rigghtt..one ticket to QQQueeeensland University. That's a dollar ten please."

Asian Student,"Wa, 10 dollars?"

Bus driver, "No no, it's ONE dollar and TEN cents. Thanks."

Asian Student, "-spastic smile- HEEEE... ogae. Tank Kew."

I mean if I was the bus driver and I come across someone saying this kinda shit to me, I'd say, sorry, retards aren't allowed on the bus, and drive off.

I know I know, it's bad of me to say such a thing but I can't help it, I get embarrassed when I see things like that. I get even more embarassed when I have Singaporeans taking the same course as me and they can't speak proper english; nor even try to. It's embarrassing because English is suppose to be our -first- language. -Sigh- It just says alot about Singaporeans I suppose.

Anyway, back to Need For Speed Most Wanted. SLR Mclaren here I come!

-One summer day-

I was taking a fag at the balcony and I couldn't help notice my friend's armpit hairs sticking out. It reminded me of them porn stars in the 70s.

Me: "Dude, your armpit hairs look like King Kong's pubes."

Marcus: "Fuck you la kok, can't help it if I'm hairy right?"

Me: "Yea, you're so hairy they filmed a bug's life on your armpits."

Marcus: "Fuck you la kok. What do you want me to do?"

Me: " Go trim those hairs man."

Marcus: " -Contemplates- Okay lor."

-Runs and gets kitchen scissors...ones which I use to cut meat, veggies etc-

-20 mins later-

Marcus: "Oei kokster, I trim already la. King Kongs' now a sexy bitch nia. -displays armpits-"

Me: "Walau. You really trim ah? Might as well go shave off la!"

Marcus: "Zhun bo? Use what shave? Shaving blade ah?"

Me: "Yea la, and use them shaving cream also. Quite shiok."

-10 mins later-

Marcus: "Eh. King Kong's a shaven haven! Sexy bo."

Me: " -Bursts out laughing- Wa cb you really went to shave? Good luck bro. Good luck."

Marcus: "knn you bluff me issit? I thought you said shiok. Somemore say good luck for what."

-2 days later-

Marcus: "Wa CCB.The stubbles are fucking itcy and ridiculous lor. King Kong looks like he's got outbreak of black heads."



Maybe I should ask him to shave his pubes.

-Hrmm-